Everyday
she wakes up at 4:00am with her eyes half-closed. She starts her day by sitting
on a dining table drinking a cup of coffee from a mug that was given to her
last Christmas. Every day, daydreaming is never absent in her duties. She then
thought to herself, “What if I become a mug and I will contain all the people’s
warmth and rage. That would be hmm… I don’t know, never mind’. She then takes
her last sip and looks at the window with the Birdseye view of the sunrise. She
stands up and prepares everything that she needs for the day.
The clock strikes 5:00am. She gets out of the door, locks
it and walks away towards the bus stop. The bus usually arrives after
30-45minutes. She’s quick-waited. So she thought to herself again, “I will
never let the people who expect for me wait longer than they should”. Then she
was shocked that the bus was already in front of her. Ah, time’s really fast. She
rides in the bus and takes a seat to the farthest corner of the bus.
She looks at the window beside her. She glared at it for
all she sees is a blurry and a murky view as if the window never got the chance
to be cleaned, not even once. She could not stand it anymore. She thought to
herself, “I will never let the people see an unclear perception towards the
view that the want to see. Jeez. This people” then someone responded to her
saying “Miss, this is the last stop, aren’t you going to get off the bus?” she
again, forgotten where she will stop. So she just got off the last bus stop and
walked.
Without any choice, she walks on a narrow path where a
house lies on its dead end. She then thought to herself, “I will never block
someone’s way towards the path that they want to take”. Then someone ran to
her, crying. “Where have you been? We have been looking for you since
yesterday! Oh dear I have missed you!’’. She became speechless. She was not able to recognize
the person. So she thought to herself, “I will never run to someone and talk to
her and just freak me out. I will never talk to a stranger. I’d rather talk to
myself and daydream all day than talk to a weird person”. So she ran and
suddenly, she was hit by a van and in a matter of seconds, she bathed in her
own blood. The person ran to her and cried for help.
After an hour, she awakes in a place where all she can
see is a wide white space nothing but a white wide space. She was overwhelmed
to what she saw. She then thought to herself, for one last time.
“I hate myself. For all the things that I will think
about, I have forgotten the most important thing and that is I will just forget
everything that will happen to me and I will never have the chance to remember it. I have forgotten
that I have Alzheimer’s. How stupid of me. If only I have remembered. Oh, I can’t.
I just don’t understand why all of the people that can have this illness, why
me, that at the age of sixteen, I was given this burden? Why? I don’t understand
that even my own mother, I have forgotten her and even thought she was a
stranger when she was only there, trying to protect me from the last moments of
my life.
But they don’t need to worry now because I am up here,
safe and sound. I am now up here, remembering each and every memory that I can
remember. I will not forget any glimpse that I will have. I will never forget
any of it, promise. For now, I think there are people who still cry for me but I
don’t want you to. I just don’t want you to forget me and I just want you to
remember just one thing that I am up here. I am up here, listening to your
daydreams’.
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