Tomorrow will be the 40th day since my friend,
Mark Joshua Bondoc passed away. Actually, I have moved on from the pain that we
all suffered and I am now ready to let go. I don’t have any other intention but
share my experiences with him. The way I have known him and the way my life
would be incomplete if I wasn’t able to know him.
He was
known for being a playboy, a mischievous guy, an intelligent student and a good
person. In everyone’s eyes that is, except for me. I have a different way of
treating him.
We are
schoolmates since 1st year. Our classrooms are not that really
close, the way I’m not close with him before. Back then, the only reason I am
familiar with him is because of the stories that my friend told me about him
which is by the way, his ex-girlfriend. I was the ultimate teaser between the
two of them. Every time I see them together, I would tease them both but still,
we have not known each other that much.
By December,
our school had a “Youth Week” for students. We students participate by counter
parting our teachers and he was the student counterpart of our teacher in
Mathematics. In our classroom, he was famous because of his ex-girlfriend which
made his work, a little awkward. My classmates and I became stubborn during
their time and we kept on complaining that we didn’t get their instructions. So
particularly, our Math class became a debate room.
Then they
had a roll call. They mentioned our surnames one by one but it seems to be that they were insulting us because they’re performing actions related to our surnames
like. “Shield” for my classmate’s
surname, Ilagan. Then his partner
brushed off the chalk dust on our table towards my classmates sitting near it. It
was really annoying and insulting for us so we tattled it to our teacher and
she scolded both of them, saying “Sayang
yung pagkaguwapo niyo Kung ganyan mga ugali niyo (You’re handsomeness is a
waste if your attitude is filthy)”.
The
Youth Week ended and I personally message him in Facebook. I apologize for how
we acted as students to them and he also apologized to me. We talked about our
classmate. Then, I also found out that he and one of my classmates are already
in a relationship. I was really shocked. I mean, how could he do that? So my
rage for him started to arise because of what he did to my friend. He’s so a coquette,
I thought.
Then, I
have observed him being so proud and I promise, it’s so annoying. Every time I pass
by him, I would roll my eye but still, you can observed that he’s confused if
he had done something to me.
Our freshmen
year have ended and it was already summer. I never talked to him again. Except for
one time, we talked about our honor rolls and I have found out that we were both
ranked one. So we made a promise to each other that by next year, we should be
ranked one again in our own sections and if we succeed, we will receive a gift
from each other then we also had a conversation in twitter and he sent me a
tweet saying “<3 : )))”
It was
quite confusing so I asked him in Facebook instead. First I asked him about her
girlfriend. He told me they broke up. When I asked him why, he told me “JANN CRUSH KITA! (I have a crush on you)”
he even asked me if I want him to court me but I refused. I’m not that mature enough
for those things but we remained friends.
After a
few days, he messaged me again. He told me he had some good news and that is-he
already have a girlfriend who is my classmate, again. I became really furious
because he just confessed to me and after a few days, he already had another
one. I expressed how mad I am by not replying to his further messages. He just
sent me “Hey, I just missed you” but I never responded.
Our sophomore
year had arrived and I did not talk to him that much. Whenever I see him, I just
pass by and nothing more. By summer, I was involved in a knee injury. He knew
that all the way and he was scolding me for it. I felt that he was worried and he has concern for me not like my other friends who just laughed at my stupidity. By that time, I realized it was
time to let go all my hatred against him.
Then, I
found out that we would be classmates for our junior year. By that time, I’m
already ready to be friends with him again.
On our
first day of class in our 3rd year, he told me that I looked sick.
Then I joked by kicking him even if I’m still in recovery due to my knee
injury. Friday, June 8, 2013, he had headache so he asked permission to stay
outside. I was about to go to him but I realized, who am I? I don’t have the
rights to act like I care when everyone would just think that I only pretend
but I was wrong, I didn’t know that it
was my last chance in seeing him.
June
10, 2013, I have found out that he had leukemia and he was in comatose and we wouldn’t
be able in communicating with him. It was already said by the doctor that they’re
only waiting for days or maybe hours. That night, I was wondering if it was a
joke but then I realized, why would you joke on someone’s condition?
June
11, 2013, our day started not normally like every day. I was quiet. Then, a
black butterfly passed by me, making me worry.
During our geometry class, our teacher have seen someone raised a hand,
saying that he saw it from Joshua’s seat. Then during our Chemistry class,
every one broke into silence.
He
already died.
I was
not able to comprehend with my feelings and just burst into tears. Realizing,
it was already too late. I never have imagined that he would die that young. I never
imagined that he would just fade away from my sight. At first I was mad, he
wasn’t able to keep any promise that he swore to me and it freaking hurts. By the
end of our class, I never stop crying. I hugged every friend of mine, telling
them that I love them because I can never handle losing another friend.
During his
burial, that was the time that the pain sunk in. I felt weak whenever I see him
in his coffin but just so you know, he was smiling. Making me realize that he’s
already happy where he is and he would be sad if he knew that we’re all crying
because of him.
I wasn’t
able to move on easily. I still wonder about him day by day. His smile, his
naughty acts, just everything. He even appeared once. I saw him and I felt him.
I had to admit that I got a little scared but I am still happy because at
least, I was able to see him once more.
Tomorrow,
July 21, 2013 is the 40th day since he was gone. He will be with the
Lord now. I hope he will be happy. I know that I will see him one day and I will
tell him how I have loved him as my friend. He have taught me a valuable
lesson in life and that is-never judge someone by how people think of him and
we should value the people while they’re still with us.
Josh,
wherever you are, I know you could still read this. I am sorry for everything. Thank
you for being there for me when I need you and when I don’t, you’re still
there. Thank you for everything Josh. I love you very much and so as your
family, friends, ex-girlfriends, all of us. I will continue our promise to each
other. I will protect Mina: you’re little sister, Nay Rozel: My mother and your
sister too, Chiara: the one you love and Fatima: the one who loved you most.
You never
died. Your spirit and presence will forever remain in our hearts. If you had
only knew that until now, Fatima and I laugh at our experiences with you. You’ll
always be a part of my heart. Please guide us from wherever you are. May the
light be with you, my friend.
 |
| Mark Joshua B. Bondoc (April 1, 1998- June 11, 2013) |
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