Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Unfathomable Cosmos of Love

          I have fallen in love too many times but when I am in love, it’s always fictional. That’s one of the unfortunate fates of being a bookworm, you fall in love with the characters and then you realize that you’ll never find that kind of person and what I mean by never is, never in your wildest dreams. My first love is Pudge whose pain from Alaska is unbearable then I have Colin Singleton who is too smart for me. I have also fallen in love with Peeta Mellark but most of them all, I have fallen in love with Augustus Waters but this is not about me falling in love with a fictional character. It’s about how I found my Augustus Waters behind the unfathomable cosmos of love.
                What are the unfathomable cosmos of love for me by the way and does it even exist? For me it does exist. Cosmos, by definition is the universe seen as a well-ordered whole. For me, the cosmos symbolizes the wide range of stars and those stars remind me of thoughts that could not be fathomed as one (Thanks John Green for this wonderful thought). Love has a very wide range of opinions, definitions and descriptions. No one ever knew what its exact point is and I never understood it myself either. Love is a cosmos. It’s seen by the people as a well-ordered whole but people never see its real beauty. Just like a cosmos, the people see it as wonderful scenery of flashing lights as a whole intended to mesmerize our eyes but it is never seen by people as tiny speck of star that is intended to leave a spark in your life and that is how I see love.
                So let’s go back to the Augustus Waters thing. I never really felt butterflies in my stomach or anything that they say that you would feel when you’re in love. That’s the mistake of every person in love. They depend on the world’s description of love and how to know that you’re in love. They don’t depend on the real thing that they really feel. The people kept imagining their future with the people they love and they kept admiring its beauty even if they aren’t yet seeing it. That’s what every people who wanted to fall do, looking at what they could be rather than appreciating what they are. It’s like imagining the whole galaxy without even thinking of one star.  That’s not being in love. It’s being trapped in an infatuated dream and love should not feel that way. You should not me trapped, you should be living it.
                That’s the very reason I fell in love with Augustus Waters. With every word he says, with every metaphor he makes, he made me realize what love should be. It should not be about how the world defines it; it’s about how you define it yourself. Love is coming out from you and only you. Not from the people’s heart, but your heart and that is how I knew I was in love. Augustus Waters didn’t tell me how to be in love nor didn’t the person who I am in love with teach me to. I felt it myself. I knew it to myself. I realized that I was in love with a speck of star that left a spark in my heart filled with metaphors and such.
And how did I know I was?
                It was the day when that person started making jokes that he has feelings for me. That was day when everything for me felt knew. I was always sleeping early at those times and I was always waking up late but when that person started his jokes, I was never like that again. I always wait for the time that he wants to sleep so I could sleep to and I even woke up as early as I can just to see  if he sent me a good morning message. Right then, it was just a joke for me and I felt that way. It was the time when he became serious to me when I felt it inside me. The way that I always dream of him at night made me realize the happiness that I feel whenever I talk to him and not just that, I don’t care if the world ignored me for the day but sadness comes to me when he’s out of reach but he’s never out of reach, he was always there and still I feel sad if I missed a second without him.
                Then the time came when he confessed his feelings. On that time, I felt like my heart will come out of my body. My brain burst into kaleidoscope of thoughts filled with astonishment. I just stared at the wind for a moment and imagined what we could be but just like the wind that thought faded. I realized why I was in shock. He left a spark on me, a spark that soon ignited into flames of fulfillment. I saw the stars with me and I put it in my hands and I realized the happiness that I felt. Indeed, I was in love.
                Whenever I am with him, I felt the third space. The third space is the place we’re we are when we’re together as if the world’s not with us. I don’t care about the world. I just want to feel the moments that I am with him and I don’t want to lose those moments. I just want to keep steady with him. On the first time that we held each other’s hands, I felt the electric current that run through us, the spark.  I never felt that way in my life, just as when I am with him.

                That spark that he has given me, that speck of star that he let me feel took me into the beauty of love’s cosmos. It brought me into a wide range of feelings that made me live the infatuated dream. I have made my way in being mesmerized by the beauty of love with those sparks. Those sparks one by one created a wonderful light that is now with me. It created a galaxy full of stars. It made me feel the real feeling of love; a love that is not bounded by the world’s definition. It is a love that fathomed its entire unfathomable cosmos.  That’s how I define love and how I see, feel and leave it. 

Monday, October 28, 2013

A Movie Guru’s Perception: BA:BO (Miracle of Giving Fool) and Seven Days



Source: Bubblews.com 

               Boredom is my only companion today and for the following days because we have a one week-off for our Semestrial Break. So for my first day, I decided to watch a movie that was recommended by our teacher, BA:BO. This movie is for people who are not that close to their siblings and for people who feel unappreciated but more likely; this movie is for those who feel that they don’t have that much to appreciate and their life, just freaking sucks for them. To be honest, it really made me cry. (It’s because of the emotional thingy) well, if you don’t like emotional movies that would make you cry and action, suspense etc. is your thing, then I also have another movie to recommend. It’s Seven Days. It’s also a Korean movie and it’s an action packed movie filled with mysteries. It’s an endless maze towards the safety of your child. But first, let’s go to a feels trip because of BA:BO.
                BA:BO (바보) is a 2008 South Korean film. Based on a popular webcomic, the film was directed by Kim Jeong-kwon, and stars Cha Tae-hyun and Ha Ji-won in the lead roles. Ji-ho is a promising pianist who has been studying and playing abroad for years, but her career takes a blow when she is struck with stage fright. Returning home, Ji-ho is reunited with her old school friend, Seung-ryong, who, although now in his twenties, has been left with the mind of a six year old following an accident. Seung-ryong's only family is his younger sister, Ji-in, and he takes care of her by trying to sell toast outside her school, much to her embarrassment. Ji-in later becomes ill, and Seung-ryong's other friend, Sang-soo, falls into trouble with some gangsters. With all of his friends and family facing problems, Seung-ryong becomes an unlikely saviour.
Source: whattmessgirl.wordpress.com
BA:BO was adapted from a popular webcomic of the same name created by Kang Full, which ran from January to April 2004. Director Kim Jeong-kwon, himself a fan of the comic, was approached directly by Kang, and described the film as being faithful to the source material. BA:BO was released in South Korea on February 28, 2008, and was ranked third at the box office on its opening weekend, grossing $2,302,058. By April 6 the film had grossed a total of $6,450,178, and as of March 23 the total number of tickets sold was 951,573 (Source: Wikipedia.com)
I was like crying the whole time when I was watching the movie. It has a light mood that would make you laugh and then suddenly it would fill you with awe. It created some impressions at me like we should never judge people by how the society sees them. We should be considerate to their situations and be approachable to them. Even if they are mentally-ill or they have mentally-ill siblings. Looking like a gangster and being treated as a tramp aren’t excuses too, we should not judge them by how we see them physically. We should learn to look further down their hearts so we could understand the story behind them.
Source: asianmoviereviews.wordpress.com

Another thing is we should not be stuck in our past. We should learn to forgive and forget about the unnecessary things that happened to us. I was really affected when Ji-ho has approached Seung-ryong despite what happened to them when they were younger. I hope there are still people like Ji-ho who didn’t became bitter because of one thing that people had done to her. Instead, she remembered one thing that helped her be better because of what that person did. And maybe more Seung-ryong could help our society, more people who are eager to take care of the people they love even if they are pushing them away. The number one value that I got in this story is appreciation.
Let’s now proceed to a movie that tackles about the risk of being a topnotch lawyer in your country and being a mother. This movie is for people who are seeking adventure and who like to solve cases by connecting investigations one by one. It’s a movie that would take you further down the world of crimes, I present you, Seven Days. Seven Days (Hangul: 세븐 데이즈) is a 2007 South Korean crime thriller film directed by Won Shin-yeon, starring Yunjin Kim and Park Hee-soon. The film had 2,107,849 admissions nationwide and was the 9th most-attended domestic film of 2007. In 2008, Kim won Best Actress at the Grand Bell Awards, and Park won Best Supporting Actor at the Blue Dragon Film Awards and Korean Film Awards.
Source: japancinema.net

Yoo Ji-yeon (Yunjin Kim) is a prominent lawyer, who has yet to lose a case. While Ji-yeon is taking part in a parents-only race at her daughter's field day, her daughter disappears. Later in the day, Ji-yeon receives a phone call from the man who abducted her daughter. The man makes it clear that he is not interested in her money. Rather, he tells her that the only way she will ever see her daughter again is to defend a five-time convicted felon who is appealing his conviction for rape and murder. Ji-yeon has only seven days before his trial ends. (Source: Wikipedia.com)
source: beyonghollywood.com

It’s really a thrill. My father and I watched for like three times because it was really awesome. Every scene would make you have sudden realizations and make you want to go back to prove your right. Kim Yunjin really deserves the Best Actress Award. Her aggressiveness as a prominent lawyer and her vulnerability when it comes to her daughter is really remarkable. The movie has tons of plot twists that would shock you. It’s really awesome. I am telling you.


So these two movies are on my list of my favorite Korean movies. In terms of affection and awesomeness, these two are exactly for it. Whenever you are bored, just watch BA:BO or Seven Days and surely, boredom would escape out of your senses. That’s it folks. Tell me if you like it or not. Good Day! 
P.S. I don't really understand why I chose cats to describe what I am feeling. Haha. (source: anarosaphotography.devianart.com)

Monday's Child

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for a living,
But the child who is born on the Sabbath Day
Is bonny and blithe and good and gay

Saturday, October 26, 2013

The Serendipity of Reading Books by John Green

There are some people who have been living their life trying to find their great perhaps or trying to figure out a way to escape the labyrinth. There are some people who have been living their life searching for someone who would give them a little infinity of happiness or a forever within numbered days. There are also people who kept finding a formula to understand what’s wrong with them and they even created a theorem to prove it. But I am different from these people. I am someone who’s looking for an abundance of my stars’ fault. 
Looking for Alaska, source: effyeahnerdfighters.com



In my fourteen years of my existence, I think that I am too imaginative of what will be my future and the things that are going on around me. I overthink about my thoughts and how to prove that I am right about it. I kept on trying to find a way to my great perhaps. I kept looking for the real me but all I do was seek for an escape out of my labyrinth. When I die, I want the people to remember my famous last words. These things are unexplainable, so unexplainable that for me, it doesn’t make sense anymore. 
The Fault in Our Stars, source: socitey9.com


At a very young age, I have awakened to the fact that I am a side effect of the earth’s oblivion and at the same time, I realized that I am no Hazel Lancaster to find the Augustus Waters of my life. There are people who have given me a little infinity of happiness and indeed it was little. There are people who have given me forever within numbered days except that they didn’t die, they only have set an expiration date to their feelings for me, I have cursed myself for having this fault in my starts but then, I have realize that some things are worth being the privilege of being hurt by it because it made me realize that the best things in life comes in the disguise of the worst things.
An Abundance of Katherines, source: flickr.com

And the last thing, I already had enough of the abundance of the out of the world cosmos of my imaginations. It’s so out of the worlds that even creating a theorem would not be enough to explain it. Even if I try to anagram the words in my life, it would not be enough. Maybe the unfortunate things in my life are already abundant for me but it makes sense though. This abundance made me learn and realize how to manage the things that I deserve and the things that I don’t deserve. It made me compute for the right amounts of pain and happiness in this world.
These are the things that I learned from John Green. These are the things that helped me see a clearer path to understanding myself and my can’t be understand thoughts. From Looking for Alaska, The Fault in Our Stars and to An Abundance of Katherines, I have known something. I have found a sudden realization of happiness out of these books and actually, I never expected to find this kind of feeling. That’s the serendipity I found on John Green’s books. Thank you, John Green.
Next stop, Paper Towns. 
Paper Towns, source: flickr.com 

Friday, October 11, 2013

A Person's Perception: The Oxymoron of Being Bestfriendzoned by the Person you Loved

              Being friendzoned, I mean bestfriendzoned by the person who you thought had the same feelings with you is the most freaking painful thing in the world. And when he or she tells you that he or she doesn’t have any feelings for you after all the things you had been through is too much to be agonized. One last thing, before he or she admitted that he or she does not have any feelings for you, he or she had been admiring another person and that person is one of your friends that you trusted most. It fucking hurts.
                I have been victimized by the can’t be untangled twist of faith. It’s not his fault, mostly it is. No, that’s wrong. It’s no one’s fault, it may be mine but no. Let’s not create conclusions about things especially when this post of mine is all about my feelings because this is my blog and this is my side so this is all about the things that I negatively and positively, by the power of metaphorical resonances that I want to say.  
                We’re currently in the month of October, year 2013th.  Last year, October 19, 2012, I confessed one person that I was in love with him. I wasn’t in love with him because he was handsome and popular and sweet and whatsoever. It’s because he changed my perspective and that perspective changed me into a better person. I tried my best to be someone to him. I tried to let him understand how important he was to me. It worked until the last day of our sophomore years, I guess but I had read the stars so wrong.
                So I had accepted the fact that we would be nothing more than best friends. From the very start, I knew that. When we reached our junior level, we became close to each other, more likely, as best friends. To be honest, I still hoped that there was something like sparks between the two of us and I guess everyone believed we had everyone but him. I still created effort with all my might. I saved my allowance to prepare a gift for his birthday, chose him as my inspiration in writing articles for my journalism training and I let him read all the stories that I wrote which was actually for him. I even managed to have a picture with him every month so I could proudly post it on my twitter. I even met his father who was very kind to me. I don’t want to mention everything anymore but it’s really a myriad efforts.
                Then the fault in our stars happened. We were teasing each other to our classmates (we we’re not on the same class). It came to the point when I asked him what we were. He told me we were best friends. I told him that I misheard something. He told me WE WERE JUST BEST FRIENDS. FUCK? JUST BEST FRIENDS? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY FUCKING KIDDING ME? DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THE WORD “JUST BEST FRIENDS” IS? OH SHIT. So I almost cried my eyes out the whole night. In the morning, I was faking my smile but I broke down when my best friend, Gwen asked me what happened.
                That night, he also promised to give me something on the following day. He did. He gave me a bracelet and a keychain. I got frustrated so I asked Gwen to ask him what it was for. And I thought the pain was over but I was wrong. It was not. He answered that it was a “FRIENDSHIP GIFT”. WHAT THE FUCK? FRIENDSHIP GIFT? ARE YOU REALLY THAT INSENSITIVE? REALLY? OH SHIT. So even though it was embarrassing, I couldn’t help myself but cry and I cried like for 3hours during our class and everyone noticed it. (Fact: When I am crying, my face turns red and what I mean by face is my whole face. My eyes, my nose, my cheeks, my forehead and also my neck.)
                So we talked and I realized something. It was alright to be best friends but on one condition, I want to know his feelings. I texted him and told that it was the only thing that would make things better. He didn’t reply for one whole day and I told that if he would not, I would punch him and he promised to reply. He told me, “Jann, wla (None)” I was about to cry but then, my tears stopped from flowing. I even cursed. I was like. GODDAMNED FEELINGS. FUCK THIS. WHAT THE HECK? THIS IS BULLSHIT. 1 YEAR, 13 MONTHS, 395 DAYS, 23700 HOURS, 1422000 MINUTES AND 85320000 SECONDS AND IT’S FUCKING NONE?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME? By that time, I thought that I was already crying because it really hurt me. It was like being chopped into pieces and my dismembered body was burned into ashes and my ashes were thrown into the Pacific Ocean. Shit. That hurts right? But I. I didn’t cry. Not a single drop of tear fell from my eyes.
                So yes, it really does hurt from the start. I even thought that it would take like 10years for me to get over it, to get over being bestriendzoned and being fooled to assume but I realized to myself. I was just looking on the other side. That’s what I thought during the normal habit of humans who became intelligent at the midst of 1am and then sleep and forgets it anyways but I remembered it.  I took a glance on the other side.
                For me, we have our own responsibilities that we impart. He made me assume and it took long for him to be honest with what he really felt and it’s my fault that I fell to the trap and hoped for the worst thing and let the best things blind me.
                For me, he was someone who was very angelic and all. He was important and was very special to me. When my friends ask me how it feels to feel love from him, I would say that I am not even close of being worthy of his feelings. Then I realized something. It was not me who doesn’t deserve love from him. It was him who is not even close to being worthy of my feelings. I mean. I maybe full of imperfections and all but I did a lot of effort and I am not saying that it’s a thing that he owes me because I did a lot effort. It’s just that. I mean maybe he’s stupid because how often do you find a girl who was stuck in the labyrinth of her miseries but forgets all her miseries just to let the boy she loves see how he makes her happy. It’s simple. HE DIDN’T AND WOULD NEVER DESERVE MY FEELINGS.
                Or maybe he was not meant to be someone more than a best friend. He was meant to be my best friend but wait HOW COULD A BEST FRIEND MAKE HER BEST FRIEND CRY AND BREAK HER HEART? SERIOUSLY? Okay. So let’s go to the other side. Maybe he was a message that I should not trust anyone who would make me feel special. Someone told me that when someone breaks your heart, you would tend to be more attractive to make them look stupid of letting you go. So maybe, I will finally be beautiful. And he freed my heart. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be able to find someone who’s much better than him.
                Even though it really hurt, I also need to look on the brighter side. He had done so many good things to me and those things had created special memories. Those were the little things that were still worth of treasuring. I might shed a lot of tears recently but I would not exchange it for all the smiles that were shared. Of all the things that happened, maybe the 25 percent are the painful memories that happened to me these past few days but 75 percent of it is the lasting happiness that those memories made.
                So maybe the sweet memories as admirers would never occur again, there’s still more memoirs as best friends to be made. Maybe what happened were just challenges to toughen up our friendship. I am still young and I know there’s someone who would really deserve my feelings in the future. So I would not deny the pleasure of having him as my best friend. Our experience together before will be our stepping stone to be better instead of being bitter. So for that person, thank you.
                The number one thing that I learned is that everything is never good to be true because sometimes the best things in life might be the things that would hurt you and the worst things might just be a disguise to the things that would take you to your cloud nine.


(Meet my Best Friend)

"I don't love you like I loved you yesterday."-I don't Love You, My Chemical Romance
"I loved you forever, forever is over."-Love Drunk, Boys like Girls







Tuesday, August 27, 2013

A Student's Perception: The Pig and the Three Filipinos


 In a far away land called Corruptionapolis, there was a pig that always cries and always asks his God, “Why do the Filipinos hate me so much?” He didn’t receive any answer from him but he didn’t give up. He wandered around Corruptionapolis and met three different Filipinos. He met one who’s a liar, one who pushes him away and one who’s stupid and ignorant.
                The first one he met wears a suit and tie and holds a tobacco between his fingers. He asked him, “Why do the Filipinos hate me so much?” The Filipino looked at him and smiled then he told him, “Not everyone hates you. There are people who say they hate you but actually, they worship you. They are the people who get the benefit of your pork. Those Filipinos only say these words to look clean in the public.”
                The Filipinos believe that the government should abolish the pork barrel system and they thought that the government was on their side when some senators filed resolutions to junk the “pork barrel” funds. However, it didn’t convince PNoy at first and he said that what we need is tighter control and not the complete abolishment of it but during his visit in the “Libingan ng mga Bayani” last August 26, 2013, he said that he supports the Filipinos on their protest of the One Million People March that took place in Luneta on the same date. There are Filipinos who accepted his testimony while some said it was just an act to look favorable in front of the public.
                The second one he met wears a shirt and a pair of trousers.  He went to him and asked, “Why do the Filipinos hate me so much?” The Filipino didn’t give him an answer but pushed him away by throwing his slippers at him. He shouted, “Get the hell out of here, you dirty pork! You’re the one who brings corruption and makes the poor, poorer!”
                Most of the Filipinos want the total abolishment of the “Pork Barrel” funds. They believe that this is the bridge of the government to corruption. The people think that “Pork Barrel” funds would not do anything good to the community. The money that was supposed to be for the benefit of every Juan lands on the dirty hands of the thieves like Janet Lim-Napoles who spends it on their luxury while some Filipinos suffer during the calamities due to the unfinished infrastructures that were so-called funded by the government. That’s the reason why the Filipinos think that it’s time to chop the pork down.
                The third one he met wears a sando and shorts. He asked him, “Why do the Filipinos hate me so much?” The Filipinos looked at him and for five minutes, he took a deep stare on the wind. The pig asked again him but he didn’t say a word. For the third time, the pig asked him and finally the Filipino answered. He told him, “Actually, I don’t really know and I don’t really care.”
                There are Filipinos who are ignorant about the “Pork Barrel” issue. There are some that doesn’t really care about what it might do to them. They don’t know what they give and what they get from it. They are naïve of what’s going on around them. There are even some Filipinos who take the “Pork Barrel” literally and think that it’s bad because it brings cholesterol. They don’t know that each of us takes part on this scam that we have come to know.
                Just like the three different Filipinos, there are also three different perceptions-the one for the rich, the one for the middle class and the one for the poor.  No matter what it is, we have to know that we have our own part and responsibility towards this “Pork Barrel” scam. We just need to open our eyes, unlock our voices and awaken our minds. Ask the pig in Corruptionapolis on why he kept on asking why we hate him. Do you want to know? It’s because he wants to be in heaven. 


Monday, August 12, 2013

Story: When the Rain Becomes Your Best Friend

 
“You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shelter when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your windows. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me.”
― Bob Marley

            Once there was a man named Summer Blake Woods. He was born on the start of the yearly summer solstice. That’s the reason why his parents named him, Summer. In his 27years of existence, his mortal enemy is the rain. When he was young, he considered the rain his opposite but never his complement and now that he’s working as a regular employee and working hard to have a position in the company, he always curses the skies for making it rain because whenever it rains, he gets late for work and being late for work is the thing that he hates more than the rain.
            Summer is very addicted to work. When he graduated, work is the only thing that has been his priority. He has been working for a telecommunication company for about five years now and until now, he never received any promotion. So for this year, he realized that it’s time for him to make the big move for the big step.
            Every day he wakes up at 4:00am. For one hour, he prepares himself and by 5:00am, he rides three transportation vehicles for two hours of traveling and he need to arrive at his office at exactly 7:00am and it ends by 7:00pm. That’s the reason why for that five years, his mind never left his office.
            100meters away from his office, there lays a roundabout where traffic is never absent, especially, when it rains. One day, the traffic didn’t cooperate with him because he was stuck there for about half an hour and in just 15minutes, his late-clock will strike and the worst thing he ever imagined happened, it rained. Afraid of being late, he got off the bus and ran. Then something, I mean, someone stopped him. He saw a girl wearing a white rose flower band on her brunette loose curls, a white-lace dress and white sneakers. The girl was sitting on the bench in the middle of the garden roundabout, bathing in the rain. She was soaking wet and nobody offered an umbrella where she could used as a shield but Summer didn’t mind her for he was too afraid that he will be late.
            Summer was lucky he arrived on time but unfortunately, the bad weather happened again on the next day. So he got off the bus and ran again but he was not expecting to see that the girl was there again, sitting, soaking wet and bathing on the rain. He was about to come to her but again, the fear of getting late overcame Summer. The third time, the weather was not good at all and he saw the girl again but this time, she was laughing and smiling, beautifully and again, Summer was afraid so he didn’t mind her. The girl was now running in Summer’s head.

            Through the night, he was thinking about the girl. For the first time, his mind was not in his office but in the girl’s presence. So he decided to be half on an hour early and he even offered some eggs so that it would not rain tomorrow. Due to the curiosity, Summer has forgotten that he was assigned to bring an important document tomorrow.
            The next day, there was no traffic at the roundabout. Everything was smooth and clear. He was an hour early before his time and luckily, there was no rain at all. He looked at the bus’s window and he saw the girl. In his excitement, he got off the bus and ran. The girl was sitting there, wearing the usual white rose band and the white sneakers paired with a different white dress. She was smiling. Summer asked permission of he could sit and the girl nodded. The girl smiled again and whispered on the wind.
“Excuse me Miss, are you saying something?”-Summer asked the girl and you could see the curiosity in his eyes.
“Yes I was saying something but I am afraid to tell you so. So I whispered it to the wind”-the girl then stared at Summer and he wasn’t able to resist to stare back, he stared at the girl’s icy blue eyes.
“My name is Summer Blake Woods. Now, are you still afraid to tell me what you whispered to the wind?”-
“No. I am not. I told the wind that you’re early today and instead of running, you’re here, sitting with me. How wonderful”-
“I also whispered to the wind”-
“Are you afraid to tell me so? My name is the opposite of yours. I just don’t know if I complement you or not. So, what have you whispered?”-
“You are dry today. Chuckles. By the way, why aren’t you using an umbrella, I mean, why are you bathing in the rain?”-
“I am bathing in the rain because the rain is my best friend.”-
“Your best friend? How come? “-
When the rain becomes your best friend, you’ll never know what the tears are for. You’ll never know if it’s for happiness or for sorrow”-
“You’re weird. I mean special. You’re unique. So when it rains, you’ll never find a place to hind under? You’re just goanna feel the rain?”-
“I guess so.  By the way, Summer, Look at your clock. I guess you need to run again”-
“Jeez. I need to arrive at my office in 15minutes which is 100meters away from here”-
“Would you like to hear me sing a song for you?”-
“I would love to but I need to go”-
            Summer ran and he even forgot his documents. So he opened his case and brought out the papers.  While running, he’s reading it. He even took the last glimpse of the girl who was playing a guitar and singing. After two minutes, his papers were all destroyed. It’s soaking wet in water and even his own self is soaking wet. From the bright and sunny weather, the skies turned grey. It has rained. In all of sudden, it has rained. He didn’t knew when or where did it come from but it has rained. He was clueless and helpless.
            Summer arrived at his office an hour late. He was saying nothing at all. Then his furious boss went to him and asked for the documents. He handed the papers that are obviously wet and was dried with a hair blower. His boss, due to anger, slapped the papers on Summer’s face. His boss shouted at him, “Two weeks of suspension!” and pointed his finger on the exit door. Summer has no choice but get out and went home. When he got out, the sun was shining brightly again.
            The next morning, Summer woke up on his usual schedule. When he was already in the roundabout, he realized that he was in suspension and what hurting is, with no pay. He walked slowly to the bench where he found the girl as always, wearing the white-rose flower band, a pair of white sneakers and a white less dress. The girl smiled at him and he felt lightly. The frown in his face was slightly removed when the girl stared at him, smiling with no reason. The corners in his lips started to form a curve when the girl looked at the sky, closed her eyes and smiled. Suddenly, it rained again but this time, Summer didn’t went to a place where there’s a roof and he didn’t even open an umbrella. He just stayed there, feeling the presence of the rain.
“I know your name now. You’re the opposite of me but you complement me.”-Summer said as he picked a white daisy and putted it in her flower band.
“Don’t you have any work today? You’re already late!”-She said with a loud voice while the rain started to get heavy.
“I got suspended. You’re name is Rain, isn’t it? I want the rain to be my best friend! I want you to be my best friend!”-
“Yes! I am the rain and starting now, I am your best friend”-
            Summer and Rain bathed in the rain. Laughing and playing with it. They splashed the water that pours from the sky. They grabbed dirt on the ground and threw it at each other. They were like children who were playing in the outdoors while it rains. The smiles on their faces cannot be removed for you can see that both of them are enjoying every moment I mean every drop of the rain. By that time, they knew to themselves that a new friendship was created between the two of them.
            The skies opened and there was a rainbow. The rain has stopped but their happiness did not. They were laughing at each other for looking like they wrestled in the mud. The white dress of Rain was covered with brown spots and her shoes we’re like dipped in hot fudge. Summer went to the nearby mall and bought two towels. They wiped each other’s faces filled with droplets of rain. They we’re happy and finally they felt tied and decided to sit on the bench again.
“You know, I never liked my job. I have always wanted to be an Editor-in-Chief of a magazine publishing company. I wanted to share.”-Summer opened up to her as a sign of trust.
“Then why are you still there? You should be somewhere where you belong.”-
“I don’t know where I belong. How about you? Where do you belong?”-
“I belong with the rain. I have told you, the rain is my best friend. I am happy whenever I am with it. Just like you, you’re my best friend that’s why I am happy whenever I am with you.”-
“You know, when I was six years old, I have met someone like you. She’s a girl who loved wearing white daisies on her ears. We became best friend for a day but we never met each other again after that.”-Rain did not response to him. She just smiled with a smile that’s hard to resist adoring.
            They spent the whole day together but it didn’t stop there. Every day, they are together on the roundabout, talking and knowing each other. You can see that in their eyes, they were sincere of their friendship. You can see in their smiles that everything about what they have for each other is special. For about two weeks, 12hours a day, they’re just together and spending the moments with joy.
            On the 13th day of Summer’s suspension, his boss called and asked for his help. You can see that Summer was very happy because it’s time for him to make up the mistake that he have made. He expressed his happiness to Rain who was very happy for him to and finally he has learned to be happy. The next day, Summer prepared everything. He went early in order to spend time with his best friend. Then, Rain didn’t say a thing. She was just there sitting at the bench, smiling at him. She reminded Summer that he would be late so she told him to go. She just promised to sing for him to wish him good luck.
            Summer walked away happily. Then he saw Rain playing the guitar and singing a song. He smiled. After taking a few steps, he looked at the skies and he was complacent that it would not rain. He closed his eyes and the worst thing happened. He felt drops of water on his shoulders. When he was about to run, the rain poured heavily. He wasn’t able to save the documents. He tried to take a glimpse of Rain but she wasn’t there anymore. He ran and when he arrived at the office, the guard was already there. The guard has given him a letter. A letter that says he was fired of his job. One last chance and he blew it. He felt hatred in his hearts.
            He was speechless. He was helpless. He was fired on the job that he has worked for five years. He was mad and he was hysterical. What just happened was very painful to him. There’s just one thing that he blamed for what has happened to him and that is, the rain. He ran and went to the roundabout where he found Rain. She was smiling at him but he didn’t smile back. He was furious.
“I hate the Rain! I never loved it! It’s just false happiness! If it wasn’t for the rain, I would not be fired and I have been on a higher position.”-Summer shouted at Rain who was clueless of what she has done.
“Why are you blaming the rain? Why are you blaming my best friend? It didn’t do anything to you and I didn’t do anything to you. You said you we’re happy. You learned to be happy. Why are you like this?”-
“No, it’s not the rain. It’s you! You are causing the rain. If you didn’t sing then the skies would open and I have seen a brighter future! And you’re not my complement! You’re ruining my life”-
“You told me that you want the rain to be your best friend! So I sang to make it rain so that you would feel its presence. So you would be happy. I’m sorry if I caused the burden in your life. If you hate the rain, you’re making me hate myself!”-tears flowed down from Rain’s eyes. She ran away and Summer didn’t follow her. He was too guilty for what he has said.
            The moment when Rain cried, the sky turned grey and the rain has poured heavily. Summer stayed there, standing, thinking with his conscience bothering him. He realized that what he said what wrong and he needed to apologize. He went home and kept on thinking about Rain. The whole day and the whole night, the rain didn’t stop. He imagined it like Rain’s tears. It’s unstoppable. Rain said before that when the rain becomes your best friend, you’ll never know if the tears are for happiness or for sorrow but this time, he knew it was for sorrow.
            The next morning, he returned to the roundabout but Rain wasn’t there. It was still raining. He closed the umbrella he was using and threw it to the trash. He sat on the bench, feeling the presence of the rain, waiting for Rain. He believed that his best friend will return. All day, he sat there, bathing on the rain. He was saying nothing at all; he was just waiting for Rain.
            The next day, it was still raining. He returned again there. He still waited for Rain. He waited there, with the rain pouring on him. He didn’t make a move. He was just waiting for Rain. The next day, he was still there and the next day, and the next day, and the next day and the next day. He just sat there, waiting for Rain.
            After a week, he received a phone call from a magazine publishing company wanting him to be their Editor-in-Chief. He was half-happy and half-sad. He remembered Rain. He remembered that he told her that he dreamt of that job but Rain hasn’t returned yet. There was no one to celebrate with. He grew more sad and depressed. The company assigned him to create an article about just anything that has any connection about the rainy season. It was easy for him, he wrote an article about how a girl change her views from an anti-rain to a person whose best friend is the rain. The company accepted it and by the next two days, he will be working at the company as the Editor-in-Chief.
            He has one last day to enjoy and he decided to spend it on the roundabout, waiting for Rain. Then the rain, poured heavily. So heavy that it seems like a storm but he didn’t mind. He just stayed there waiting for Rain. He closed his eyes and smiled. Suddenly, he didn’t felt any drop of rain on his shoulders. Someone was shielding him with an umbrella. He opened his eyes, it was Rain. Suddenly, he stood up, he hugged him and cried. Then he heard an angelic voice. Rain started to sing and the rain started to fade.
Going from day to night, you’re all I think about. Being so pitiful and silly, what should I do?
            Rain’s angelic voice has stopped the rain. She looked at Summer who was crying like a baby. She smiled at him and he smiled back to her. Summer surely missed seeing that smile. 
“Where have you been? I…”-Rain pushed her two fingers on Summer’s lips.
“I…I am sorry Rain. I was…”-Rain again, shushed Summer.
“I know your regrets. I know all your thoughts. I know what you have been through. I was here all the time. I know how you have stayed outside the rain. You didn’t mind the cold, in order to wait for me, to let me see how guilty you are but Summer, you don’t need to explain no more. I have understood it and I know what you have been through. You don’t need to worry.”-Rain told Summer and she gave him a smile.
“But, where have you been? I was not able to see you from a distance.”-
“Haven’t you notice that whenever I’m not with you, it rains? Or whenever I want to sing to make it rain or to stop the rain, it happens? Do you know why? Summer, I would like you to know that I am the rain. Didn’t you feel my cold comfort as I lay my head on your shoulders? Or didn’t you feel my cold comfort as I wrap you to my arms? I’m not the rain because it’s my name. I am the rain Summer. That’s what I want you to know.”-
“What? I don’t understand.”-
“The rain has become your best friend. That’s it Summer. I was just here to make you love the rain”-
“So does it mean that I would not see you again?”-
“Not literally. You would not see me but you would feel my presence as the rain.”-
“Why do you need to go?”-
“Because I don’t belong here. I belong with the rain. Just listen to me Summer, don’t be afraid for I am here. Just pursue your dream okay? And I have always loved you with all of my heart. It’s just that I needed to go. I know this opportunity will bring you to what you have always wanted, so go. Goodbye Summer. I need to be with the rain.”-
            Suddenly, a light shone brightly behind Rain. She stared at Summer and her icy blue eyes lightened and she smiled like an angel to him. Summer wasn’t able to condemn the light so he closed his eyes. When he opened it, Rain was gone. Her brunette loosed curl that was crowned with a white-rose flower band was gone. Her white lace dress paired with sneakers is gone. Her laugh and silliness were gone. Summer broke down and cried.
            The next day, Summer went to the CEO’s office company and there they talked about his contract. Mr. Christie was very happy to have Summer as his Editor-in-Chief for he reminded him, his daughter, Lorraine. Summer was flattered by what Mr. Christie said and he asked permission of he could see her but Mr. Christie refused for Lorraine died a year ago. He just showed him a picture of her in his office and when he saw the picture, Summer was shocked. The girl in the picture, Mr. Christie’s daughter is Rain. She was wearing the same white-rose flower band in the picture and the smile that was priceless. The pair of sneakers that she always wears was beside the frame and a vase that are full of white daisies.
“She died on an accident a year ago. She rescued a child from being stuck in the flood. She successfully rescued the child but she was hit by a log. That’s the reason why she died. Ever wondered why I picked you? When she was five years old, she gave me a name tag. In that name tag, ‘Summer Blake Woods’ was written. A week ago, I have dreamt of my daughter and she asked me to bring you in the company. I agreed. Yesterday, I have dreamt of her again. She told me to make you Editor-in-Chief. I agreed. When I have read your article, it seems like you have known her and I don’t know how but I guess it’s a miracle. So Summer, welcome to our company”-Mr. Christie told Summer who was smiling at the same time, crying.

            Summer smiled. It’s just now that he realized that Rain was the girl who she met when she was six. The girl who loved the white daisies.  Every day, he goes to the roundabout at 5:00am where he stays for an hour and leaves white daisies on the bench. Whenever it rains, Summer never used an umbrella because he knows that the rain that is pouring to him, is the presence of his best friend that will forever remain in his heart. 

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Short Story: The White Rose Eyes

When I was young, my grandnana used to tell me a story about her childhood. She had a Retrograde Amnesia when she was 21years old due to an accident so I don’t know if she was telling me some story she have heard from somewhere because I know. I know she would not be able to remember any of her childhood. Every day at dawn, waiting for the sunset at the West Coast Beach, my grandnana holds my hand, puts it on her chest and starts to tell me all the memories she had, an unforgettable one she said.
            We live near the seashore in California. For almost 15years, we have stayed here and we never planned to move. Until one day, I went to our balcony for my usual duty to listen to my grandnana’s stories but then, she was stiff. I held her hand but she removed it with rage. She hated me, I mean not me, and she hated the world that day. I just stared at her then she told me.
“Clarkson, will you tell your mom that sooner or later I’m going to die”-she told me while smiling with a smile that I never have seen before.
“Why? I don’t see any health problems although you’re cranky today.”-I replied
“That’s it. I am getting cranky my dear boy. I need some time alone. I want you to go back to Florida where a man always has a glass and a marker beside him.”-
“I don’t get it. We never lived in Florida.”-
“That’s when you were 6months old. My parents used to live there. I used to live there. Just find that man, okay?”- Then she fell in a deep sleep, not wanting to disturb her, I went to my mom and told her what my grandnana just told me.
            My mom and I started to worry about her. She was always in a deep sleep and she just stares at the sunrise and at the sunset. Then we knew she was getting weak. After 14days, we have seen my grandnana shaking and hyperventilating. Then she closed her eyes again and after an hour, she passed out on the ground. We took her to the doctor and he told us that after several months, she will die so it’s time for us to fulfill her wish. My mom broke down into silence and cried. When we got home, she packed all our things and she told me. “Son, if we will still stay here I would not be able to live too. I can’t see your grandnana die.  We have to go back to Florida and fulfill her wish. I have called a caregiver to take care of her while we are gone”.
            The last dawn came and I went to Grandnana. She was smiling again. Just like before. She was happy we will be fulfilling her wish. She held my hand and put on her chest and started to tell me her stories but this time is different. She began with “Clarkson, the end will be the beginning” then she didn’t continue what she was saying. Instead, she gave me a letter, an old one.  She told me to open it by the time that she already dead.
            The next morning, we left her. The last glimpse that I saw was her smile while she was staring at the sunrise. We arrived in Florida and I started to live normally like how I live in California but now, I would not be able to hear a heart-warming story every dawn.
            My school was near our house so I prefer walking. I always walk near the coast where a tall wall lies; I walk on that wall even though my mom told me not to. Other than the beautiful view, I enjoy stopping by the end of the wall where an old man, maybe at the same age of grandnana, sits. He just sits there looking at the sea. Whenever I pass by him, he will smile at me. Of course, I return the smile that he gives me. One day, I was really angry at my mom and the frown in my face cannot be removed so when I passed by him, he stood up and asked me, “What’s the frown for? Come sit here my boy”- then I smiled, sat beside him and looked at the sea.
“Why are you always here, Sir?”-I asked him. Then he pulled out a glass and a marker.
“I always wait for the girl”-He told me
“Who’s the girl?”-
“The girl who I loved, she’s the girl. I have been waiting for her since I was 19 and for about 55years of waiting here, she still had not come back.”-
“Then why are you smiling if the one you love never came back?”-
“I am smiling because she wants me too.”-
“Are you still going to wait?”-
“My son, I will tell you the story of it’-just when he was about to say Once upon a time, my mother came and hugged me and told me to go home. I say goodbye to the old man and told him I will come back.
            I told my mom about the old man. Then she told me that my grandnana is getting stronger. So I have forgotten all about it. I have asked permission from her if I could go home late tomorrow, she said it’s alright but I should be home at dawn. Walking from school, I returned to the old man and as always, I have seen him smiling. When I sat beside him, he pulled out the glass and the marker beside him. He patted my back and smiled.
“At least you can keep your promise. Want to hear it?”-I nodded and he started to tell me the story.
“When I was 6years old, I have met a blind girl. I never knew her name, just her face. I called her Nonita and she called me Dorothy. I used to complain to her because that name was for a girl but every time I complain, she will spell Dorothy in the air. Every day, we meet here at the end of this wall. One day, she cried and she told me she want to have her own sight. So I told her to tell her mom to let her bring a white rose tomorrow.

Then after that day, she came to our meeting place with a white rose in her hand. She handed it to me and I picked two petals and drew an eye on each of them. After that, I taped it to the eyeglasses I brought and I taped it there. I looked at the eyes I made then I put it onto her eyes. She was confused and slapped me. She ran away and I followed her. I told her what it was. I told her I have made a white rose eyes for her. She stopped from running and hugged me. From that day on, she always brings a white rose and she will wear that eyes I made for her.
We aged. She had her sweet-sixteen and we had our prom. For me, it was like forever but I was wrong. The last day came and instead of seeing a beautiful smile, I saw tears in her eyes. She told me that they would move to New York for an eye treatment. She will leave me, that’s why she’s crying but instead of crying, I smiled at her. Finally, she will fulfill her one wish and that is to see the world. She kissed me and said goodbye. I remember the last words she told me. She told me that she have and always will love me that she will return here and by that time, she will be able to see how wonderful of person I am.’’-
“Until now? You’re still waiting for her?”-I asked, teary-eyed to be honest.
“I will never be tired of waiting for Nonita. She was like an angel for me. She was beautiful. She loved to stare at the sunrise and the sunset. Son, go for now. Your mother is waiting for you.’’-
“Thank you Sir, I need to go now”-
            I went home and I saw my crying. I came to her and asked her. She told me that grandnana already died. I was shocked. I was too busy with Dorothy that I have forgotten about my grandnana. Then I remembered what she told me. “Move to Florida and find the man who has a marker and glasses beside him”. I have fulfilled my grandnana’s promise. I went to my room and opened the letter she gave me and I didn’t understand why I felt weak. I have seen two white rose petals with an eye drawn on each of them.
Dear Dorothy,
                I am now okay. I can see now. The operation is successful. It’s the first time that I have seen the eyes you have made for me and I would like to tell you that it is beautiful. I am going to California today and by next week, I will return to you just like I promise. It’s your 21st birthday right? I can’t wait to see. This is what I have been waiting for all my life to see how wonderful you are. I am sorry it took long for you to wait but Dorothy, I will be back I promise. Our love has no boundaries. No Matter what, no one can stop me from seeing the most wonderful person I have ever met. It’s you Dorothy, I love you so.
Love,
Nonita
            I ran down to my mom and I asked her when grandnana had the accident. She told me she never knew the exact date but she remembered that it happened when she was on her way to California from New York. The car accident was so severe that it was grandnana who was affected; it was the reason that she had a retrograde amnesia. That kind of amnesia that she will never remember what happened before the accident but she was able to remember just one thing and that is, Dorothy.
            Tomorrow, we will be leaving to attend grandnana’s burial but before that, I went again to the end of the wall where I saw the old man again, and this time, he was wearing the eyes from the white rose. I smiled. I went to him and asked him why he was wearing it.
“It’s my birthday today. Every birthday of mine, I wear this so I could not see the world. Only the eyes of the white rose are what I would see. From that, I can imagine Nonita, returning back to me holding a white rose and she could see me”-He told me while laughing
“She could see you sir. I am the grandson of Nonita. My grandnana suffered from a Retrograde Amnesia due to an accident and…I am sad to tell you that yesterday she…”-
“She died, didn’t she? I dreamt about her looking at a sunset, smiling.’’-he interrupted me; I thought she was going to cry but he smiled instead.
“She did Sir. She’s in heaven”-
“She has forgotten me but it’s alright.”_
“She didn’t Sir. She always told me a story of a boy who taught a lesson to a blind girl and a man who always wait with a marker and an eyeglass beside him. Here, this letter is for you.’’-I handed him the letter that my grandnana was about to give to him on his 21st birthday.
“She never forgot. She fulfilled her promise. This is the best gift ever”-
            After releasing those words, tears started to flow from his eyes. It was the first time I saw him cry after all the heartbreaking stories he told me. He cried and he cried. I can’t stand it anymore that tears also started to flow from my eyes.  He then smiled again and wore the eyeglasses where the eyes from the white rose were taped. He then told me.  “My son, from now on, with or without these eyes from the white rose; I know that my long wait is over. Nonita is right here beside me. Thanks to you. Nonita and Dorothy are now together, forever.’’ And he smiled. The smile that my grandnana gave me when she handed me the letter for Dorothy.